Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Pain in my everything

Dear Baby Girl,
It has been a beautiful 10 months, feeling you grow in my belly. You are quite the energetic thing, and I have no doubt that energy is going to continue into the wee hours of the night once you're here. I can sense it; you are spirited and wild. Your brother was calm, though needy. You sister was content and watchful. You? You will be my challenge. I don't say this because I had a difficult pregnancy or because you cause me grief. Quite the opposite, my pregnancy with you has been 90% as breezy as my pregnancy with Nevaeh. I say this because already, before I even see your sweet face, I know your soul. I feel it in the way you power kick your brother and sister whenever they touch my belly. The possessive way you scoot over to push yourself against your daddy's hand, letting me and everyone know that he is yours. I feel it in the way you are always moving. No matter what, all I have to do is pause and think about you, and you start your acrobatics.
Now that we've established I know who you are and how you will be...let's prove it. Come on out. I am 39 weeks tomorrow, you have had an abundance of cooking time and the Dr. pegged you at 7 pounds 2 weeks ago, so I know you're plenty healthy. I know you are done because I can barely move. My feet and hands swell after a block of walking, my joints are all sore and tight, and I'm considering ordering a crane to help me hoist myself off the couch without cringing in uncomfortable achiness. I am grumpy and find myself aggravated for no reason at all. The nesting is in full throttle, and it's combating with my slight anemia and it's a cruel joke. It allows me to power clean one room before I collapse in exhaustion and need two days to recover, and by the time my energy returns, the room I cleaned has been disasterized by your fellow siblings and father.

Today is October 30th. Two days and it will be November 1st. I would absolutely love a November 1st baby. Let's have this one moment of cooperation and then you can carry on with your lifetime of challenges, ok?

I love you baby girl, can't wait to meet you!

Love, Mommy

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Different

Dear Landon and Nevaeh

You two are so different from each other.

Case in point: Landon's mini dinosaurs. When played with, I will hear the following from L:

"Rawr! Monster dinosaurs! OHHHH They crashed into the t-rex, CRASH BAM RAAAWWWWRRR! Oh BB, look! This dinosaur just bit his head off, now he's bleeding. He's gonna die." And other variations of blood, guts, war and mayhem. Typical dinosaur business.

From N, however, the dinosaurs lead a different kind of life.

"OH, sooo te-ute! A fam-eh-wee! There's mommy, there's daddy *makes them kiss* aww baby dine-saur! doo doo doo *making them skip along* Aww I wuuuv the dine-saurs. Sooo te-ute!" She will then proceed to have a tea party with them, or incorporate them into play with her dolls and dollhouse.

Oh Landon, my tough, gorey little boy <3 I love you so!
Oh Nevaeh, my sweet, lovely little girl <3 I love you so!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Dear children of mine

Sometimes you drive me insane.

Like when I let you play out back, because it's the end of October and a gorgeous 78 degrees.

And I think that I'm able to let you play on your own while I clean the living room.

And I check on you 5 minutes later.

And you're covered head to toe in dirt and water. And the patio is covered in mulch. And all the flowers have been picked. And the water table has transformed into a mud table.

Then I try to be stern by giving you a fast bath, no toys allowed. And you still giggle and splash like you've won a prize for getting dirty.

Then I put you down for a nap and secretly hope you'll whine and protest, so I can tell you that you both are going to bed because you were so sneaky and naughty outside. But instead I get silence and peacefully sleeping angels.

I love you both. You drive me insane some days!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Dear Nevaeh

Soon you will be a Big Sister. I've been talking to you about it since the moment I saw that second line on the pee stick. You knew before Daddy and Brother! You are so affectionate with your little sister even now when she is still in my tummy. You're always giving her hugs and kisses, and tickling her through my belly. Sometimes you will get mad at me, and will lift my shirt, wrap your arms around my stomach, and cry to your sister. If I try to put my arms around you, you push me away. Clearly you want a private moment with your sister (Sorry, I can only give you so much space with her right now!)

I know you are so young, and you might not fully understand how much your life will change in just a few weeks. But I believe with every fiber of my being that you are already connected to your baby sis. Some nights we will cuddle on the couch and watch a movie, and you will lay your head on my belly, and Sister immediately scoots her way over to you and starts kicking at your cheek. She loves you so much already! I can't wait to see this bond blossom and grow into the beautiful relationship that I have with my own sister today (your Aunt JoJo). Hopefully you and Savannah can skip the fighting stage though ;-)



When you were in my belly, I went to Build A Bear at the end (walked the mall to try and coax you out!) I picked out your Teddy Bear (the light one) kissed two hearts, made a wish, and put them in the Bear, and filled it with stuffing. It was a tradition I didn't know I was starting, but it was such a great decision. You love your Teddy Bear, and take it on the road with us whenever we travel.

A few weeks ago I took you back to Build A Bear. Pregnant again, taking my first little girl to help me continue the tradition for my second little girl. You kissed the heart and put it in the teddy bear, and we stuffed it with fluff. I can't tell you how special that day was for me. Those teddy bears are already best friends, you even call the darker one Sister Bear. You're giving it lots of cuddles as it awaits your baby sister!

And today was just more icing on the cake. You love the Katy Duck books. I'm pretty sure you'll be a dancer, so when you saw this duck dressed in a tutu, you were instantly hooked. I discovered that Katy Duck also became a Big Sister! She had a Little Brother, and she loves him just as much as I know you'll love your Little Sister. When I handed you that book, I didn't even have to explain it. You pointed to the baby duck on the cover and exclaimed, "Baby Sister! Yay!" and then we sat down and read it together. I will read that to you often, and when baby sister gets here we will read it again and you can tell Katy Duck that now you are a Big Sister too! 

I love you so much, Nevaeh. You grew inside me, and when you came out it was like having a second heart beating outside my body. Soon I will have a third heart, and I am so excited to see you transform into the next part of your precious life!

Love, Mommy